Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Did you grow up yet?

Mom: He has grown up so quickly

Dad: What can we expect from him?

The Son (with tears in his eyes): YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO WHAT I WANT!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Scary Teeth and Freaky Lanterns

We fell off a cliff, me and her. With the water approaching fast I thought we'd never let go. We crashed and the hard surface of the sea broke every bone in my body. I lost her hand. I keep sinking, unable to swim. There is no air here. Only fish with scary teeth and freaky lanterns sticking out of their deformed heads. I can't see her. There is only darkness here. Did she stay at the surface? Knowing that I am with her, but still able to breathe. I can't breathe. I can't call out to her. I float in the cold water, only hoping that she is next to me. I have no control anymore. My faith is in the hands of others now. I don't know that she is not down here with me, only that I don't know. Always this uncertainty. Always dark. Always cold. Will I grow scary teeth and a freaky lantern if I stay here too long. Where is the exit, where is the surface? I need air - soon.

Sunday, August 21, 2005

This is my home, so....

I moved today. During the last year I have shed much of my load, and these days moving only entails getting my backpack up on my shoulders and go to where ever I am moving (and retrieving a box of books from Riki's parents house).

I live in a bright room with white walls and stars on the windows.

I walked through the park to Kichijoji today. Sunday afternoon. The hippies are peddling incense, cheap jewellry and sarongs. Artists flog hand-painted postcards and printed t-shirts of artistic qualities ranging from atrocious to barely passable. Musicians fill the park with their sounds. A man plays Beatles-songs on a Chinese fiddle. A singer-songwriter tries to overcome her stage-fright. A group of not-so-young squares try to sound like the Dubliners. My favourite is BroomDuster, a man of considerable maturity with a cool-looking guitar, who, clad in impossibly small shorts (only), churns out some pretty mean blues. He struts up to the bemused audience and stands less than a foot in front of a, by now paralyzed, girl and sings about things that might be considered offensive by the less open-minded. Oh, and there are a few too many clowns making balloon-animals for me not to feel slightly concerned in a scared sort of way - never liked clowns.

I like it here, and I haven't even told you about the bars, restaurants, live houses, book stores, record shops, and used-clothes emporiums that make Kichijoji.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Romance Isn't Dead (Yet)

The most beautiful smile in the world said: I like you, you know.
I said: I don't understand why, but I like it that you like me, 'cause I like you.
The most beautiful smile in the world smiled and said: Then we can like each other.
I said: I'd like that.

Is this real? Or, am I delusional, hallucinating, imagining, insanity-prone?

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Dogs on blogs

Today I looked around at other blogs. Normal people who upload pictures of their dogs, speak of barbecues, whose profiles say they are mothers of lovely daughters, talk about their hobbies, and so on.

Maybe I should become more normal, or at least content. Are there any drugs that help (I really don't want to have to get a fucking dog or, even worse, get a hobby)?

Can somebody tell me how to go through life without hurting people? When did I build up this armour protecting me from the emotions of those who are close to me? I'd let you in, ask you to fly with me, but I am scared of what happens when you fall. I don't understand why I feel this urge for solitude when I have someone by my side, only to desperately want someone who cares about me when I find myself alone. Selfishness personified. Pitiful.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Shibuya Solo

Japan has to be the best country in the world for solo-drinking. No one bats an eye (lash?). Just part of life, like solo-peeing or wanking. Man's gotta drink, that's all. Whiskey drinking suits with the inevitable Mild 7s. This bar breathes lonliness. Quiet men huddle over their drinks. The bartenders, there are too many, try to busy themselves. They're not doing very well. I wish I knew the exact time rather than a vague 8 or 9 or so. How drunk is too drunk? It's like that Hamell On Trial song, can't remember the name. Guy has a date, but gets high as a kite and collapses on girl's front porch stark naked. Good thing I don't do any drugs beyond the conventional coffee, cigarettes and alcohol. Maybe I'll make a phone call in 30.

This country: Cooking shows, vending machines, whiskey, chery blossoms, mini skirts, too cool to be true, aesthetics, fried food, comic book heroes, trains, trains, trains, late-night drinking, futsal, fucked up politics, hentai, mirrors, talking to strangers, racism, cramped, damp, cold, hot, shot bars, russian hostesses, daikon, paying the bills, names on bottles, shoes off, Mild 7, t-shirts, i-mode, safe sex, feeling sleepy, cleanish toilets, game shows, rules. Great to be back.

How much longer, I stare at my phone. Maybe just one more drink.


In the unlikely event that anyone is reading this I thought I'd offer some advise on commenting. You might have noticed that when commenting you are asked to create a blog, which is obviously a pain in the ass. Please do not despair! Simply write your comment and select anonymous and your comment will be published without having to log in. Don't forget to write your name at the end of your comment to let me know who you are.

Earthquake I

One week - that's how long it took from my return to Tokyo until the first noticeable shake. I can't say I really care much for shaking building. Today's quake wasn't too bad, strong enough to wake me up from my drunken sleep and to make me decide that maybe I should put on some pants. Getting dressed seems to be my response to any earthquake, and I think it is an ok one. Not being properly dressed can cause embarrassment in a number of situations, including being dragged up from under the rubble of a collapsed building. Not that today's quake would cause any buildings in Tokyo to collapse. The lamps were swaying, glasses rattling, and the thumping of the screen doors providing the base. Actually, it is after it stopped shaking that it became uncomfortable. Being a good earthquake conscious building, the building continued to sway after the shaking. The after-quake swaying made me nauseus (have no idea how to spell that). Now everything is calm and I can go back to nurturing my hang-over.

The earthquake is numbered, because there will be more...

It turns out that this earthquake was much more serious than I thought. In the northern city of Sendai many people are injured. I sincerely hope no one was too seriously hurt or worse.

Monday, August 15, 2005

The Long Distance Runner

I've been running for years now. I am tired of constantly reacting to any situation by running, the slightest inconvenience and I become an olympic champion. My shoes are worn out, no sponsors. Maybe they got me far, but mostly it was just mindless running around the track. So, last week, on a bus close to the sky, I decided to give up running. I move into my new place in Tokyo (Inokashira Koen station) on Sunday and I will put my shoes on the shelf and leave them there, only serving as a reminder of choices made and not made.

On a suburban train I saw the most beautiful smile in the world, maybe I'll see it again today.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Joy Joy

Note: The following posting will make no sense what so ever to those of you who are (un) lucky enough not to have endured the 80s in (or any other decade for that matter) in the lands of Volvos and Saunas.

Trance Dance is Joy Joy. Remember? Two swedish guys with too many blow-driers in their closets and a set of Finnish twins, who did.......what did they do? If nothing else, the twins explain why the blow-drier boys were wearing neon. Finalnd: Thank you for giving us neon-fashion.

Swedish reporter: Your band`s name means sylt in Swedish - jelly, but that is not what you mean at all, is it?
Paul Weller: No.

To dance trance or to trance dance, that is the only question for me.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

I'll do graffiti if you sing to me in French

Sent the e-mail to let most people I know and actually have the e-mail address to know that I am here. Feel free to forward that e-mail to anyone who knows me.

Jocke: please fwd to Olof and Rickard
Jan: please fwd to Tanja and Rasmus

Tokyo: Hot and humid. I can't leave Riki's apartment because I don't have a key. So, I kick a football against the sofa and sing along to Maximo Park - "I'll do grafitti if you sing to me in french" - not the best band in the world, but surprisingly competent.

Should be writing on an article about a search for Shangri-La I did in northwestern Yunnan a few weeks ago, but motivation is a problem, as always. Besides, the Chinese government is full of shit - they decided this dead end town called Zhongdian was actually the real Shangri-La and subsequently, in a move to attract tourists, renamed the place Shangri-La. The town has a nice temple, but is otherwise a dump. At least it is good to know that you can always trust the PRC government to be lying. Did manage to go to Deqin, on the Tibetan border - very cool area, and cold :)

Tomorrow apartment hunting in Kichijoji begins....


Always catching on to trends when they have become decidedly untrendy, I have decided to start a blog. Main motivation for this momentous move is that almost everyone I know live where I don't and I can't seem to be able to write e-mails to save my life. I

f you are reading this and actually know me, you have already recieved a brief update on my latest exploits, but keep checking this blog for updates on everything from the supremly trivial to ..... well, whatever. Please post your comments and let me know what's up and all.

Not staying in touch with friends is mottainai

Mottainai = japanese word which in my very gadgety electronic dictionary translates as 1. wasteful; (be) too good (for) 2. profane; irreverent; impious; gracious

Ok, all translation devices have their flaws - C3PO where are you??? Any of the japanese speakers who might be reading this and are able to offer an explanation: feel free!